something lost; something gained

Now old friends are acting strange

They shake their heads,

they say I’ve changed,

But somethings lost and somethings gained

in living every day.

Yes, my bluebird friend, the affliction is common. We plan and overplan and create anxiety and willfully become exhausted. We vow to take a step back; take a breath; a nap; read a book. But then we don’t. The calendar fills up along with the associated activities. 

I learned an important lesson exactly 20 years ago next month. If you move to a small African village with no internet, you will find there is actually a LOT of time in each day. I read stacks of books. I wrote every day. I played the guitar. I ran. I listened to music. And at night I gazed up at the inimitable Southern Africa sky and was amazed at the galaxies. It was such a quiet and peaceful existence that I thought I might become a philosopher.

Alas, with the return to civilization, the gravity of modern life sucked me right back in to the vortex. 

But there’s a bit of a dichotomy here for me. I’ve always valued movement. Gathering of experiences. Getting out and about. Mixing it up a little. Meeting new people. Seeing what there is to be seen. Tasting the cultures of other places. 

But there must be a balance. Sometimes we must be a little selfish with our time.

Even this blog has felt a little like a trap for me. I strive for interesting content and quality writing. And when it does not come then time passes and the pressure feels greater. I think if there is time between posts it must mean I am going to put down something great. But I have nothing most times. Just a little ramble here and there about life’s ebbs and flows. 

I am not really one for new years revolutions. But perhaps I am. It is time for a revolution. A mini-personal revolution. In the new year, I will finish my re-write of SV2SA and record the audio version. And I will complete the first draft of ‘Webb’. And I will finish Black Dog Ridge. And I will drop into this medium whatever the fuck I want. Whimsical nonsense or the ravings of a lunatic or truly profound revelations. Whatever. 

And through all this, and along with family stuff and the work that pays for it all, I will learn to say no on occasion and find time to read more than 5 pages without falling asleep and to take long walks in the forest or float the river that runs outside my back door.

There is time enough if we are wise with our time and make good choices.

Brit, Martini and I are in West Virginia, making our way south through Virginia, the Carolina’s and to Tampa to visit Marvin and Kathleen. Weather predictions are dire, but we shall see. Take our time. Enjoy the drive and just being alive.

We visited Chicago last week where we caught up with loads of friends including a lovely lunch with Matthew and his family.

Martini, aka Marti, aka The Jungle Fox, mostly dominates the camera’s these days.