Cranky Ole SOB

When did bartenders become docs. My bartender asked if I was allowed to have grapefruit juice — some bullshit about blood pressure . Also, about half the restaurants ask if I have a food allergy. Is their lawyer making them do that? WTF. Just go get my damn drink.

On a walk with Marti recently, in the forest surrounding Black Dog Ridge, I decided once again to try to get a video of that supremely athletic little being as she stalked through the woods. We walk nearly exactly the same path twice a day. I, on the main two-tire track that runs past Rich’s cabin and then down through the canyon alongside the creek to the bottom, and Marti running parallel on one side or the other so she can be in the woods proper. Then we return, slogging up the big hill on the way back. 

Oftentimes I will only get the occasional glimpse of her for long minutes because she is off chasing some varmint. But she knows my pace and trajectory and every 10 minutes or so she will check in with me and then disappear again. 

I’ve tried many times to get a video of Martini as she flies through the forest in chase. She has a very unique leap that we call the Jungle Fox Jump. It’s not unlike a deers movement, which I expect is where she emulated. If she encounters an obstacle at pace, she launches herself in the air with front legs extended outward away from her body and her back legs the same. Sort of a superdog pose. Then she holds that pose, seemingly suspended in air longer than gravity should allow, and finally touches down 7 or 8 feet away, having cleared the obstacle. She doesn’t slow down a bit. 

It’s really beautiful to see — like pure joy expressed in physical form. No animal could have that athleticism and let it lie dormant. But my problem is I never know when she will appear close enough to my trail on the hunt and so I am never ready with my camera when it does happen. 

On this walk, I decided to try to lay in wait near one of her favorite paths in the hope that she would come tearing around the rock ledge, like I’ve seen her do many times, and I would get my video as she soared over downed trees. I walked backward, camera at the ready. But no Martini. 5 minutes I waited. When I turned around, there she was on the main trail 100 yards ahead. She already knew where I was supposed to be based on my normal pace and she was sitting there staring at me. Most likely wondering why I was walking slowly backward and looking into the forest. 

Maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe part of the magic is that this is our secret and it should not be recorded. I often remember myself at my physical peak. Playing rugby or tackle football, or basketball or cranking slowly up the side of a mountain on a bike. It would be nice to show Marti a video of herself in her peak form when she is old and no longer able to take those long leaps while chasing a deer or squirrel. 

There are truths so evident to us at times, that it seems remarkable that others cannot see it. This is how I view the current political situation. Anyone who cannot see it; does not empathize with sadness or injustice; continues to enable these monsters — well they are no friend of mine. There can be no other way to view it. There can be no going back now. 

I recently tried to reach across the aisle. On Facebook. Some nut jobs I went to high school with. Offer some dialogue that asked the other side to consider a situation different than how they currently view it. Even offered some evidence in the form of responsible journalism fortified by verifiable factual sources. I was immediately dismissed. What came back was wild claims about tens of thousands of people dying from COVID vaccine and tens of thousands more who lost their jobs for refusing the vaccine. If you’ve ever been on Facebook — then you know what I’m talking about. Total crazy nonsense fuels their hatred and discontent. Now, emboldened by someone who tells them what they want to hear, something that lets them believe for a moment or two that every problem they have in their lives can be attributed to someone else, they are full of the false confidence of ignoramuses.

And all the better if some demographic that doesn’t look like them or think like them or pray like them can be blamed for their failures or their perceived slights. To a rational person, this is textbook victim behavior and willful ignorance. To the non-rational it probably feels like redemption.

No one I know saw this danger coming with the speed and viciousness with which it has. I for one, would never have guessed that within the first 60 days of Trump being sworn in, we would see our democracy challenged to the extent that a complete dismantling of our checks and balances now seems possible. The Executive branch elevated to crazy heights of power and so far mostly unchecked.

I’ve made two personal determinations recently. One, I will continue to find ways to be the opposition. I was somewhat apathetic for a while. Loss of faith in humanity can do that to someone’s will. Two — I am now completely free of any restraint in terms of indulging willful ignorance (best case scenario) or racist, sexist, misogynist, trans or home-phobic behavior etc (worst case scenario).

If you support this bullshit with Trump and DOGE and all the other dumb assholes and bullies and cowards in this administration — then fuck you. This really is a war to save what was once a half-decent country. And, to stop the bullying and fucking up of people’s lives in pretense of saving money.

So that cat’s out of the fucking bag and on the prowl looking for trouble. 

When we were young, we were taught that Americans had the best lives of everyone on the planet. In Russia, our arch enemy, people waited for hours in lines for bread and cheese and lived like paupers and had no real quality of life. I wonder now, what is the quality of life in America. In the latest world happiness rankings were are 24th. Behind countries like Finland  and Norway as always, but also Kuwait, Czech Republic and Slovenia rank higher than the US.

From my point of view, in the US, every small task now feels like a chore. Yes, I’m getting older. Maybe I’m now the cranky old man pining for the good ole days. 

But some examples. You decide. 

My mother (88 years and still active) has bought 3 refrigerators in the past 2 years. One simply did not ever work right and after some ruined food, countless hours on the phone trying to navigate automated phone systems and dozens of lost hours in her life, she got a new one delivered. Jury is out on that one but so far so good. The other one has never made ice consistently. It works a while and then quits. Works a few days and takes a few weeks off. I’ve messed with it. My brother has. We’ve checked fuses and replaced water filters and surfed the internet for clues. When mom calls Lowe’s, where she bought it, they act like they’ve never heard of her and certainly never sold her a bogus product. When she calls GE, she gets an automated phone messaging system so complicated that Jesus himself would reach through the phone and strangle someone from GE if they just cared enough to answer. They don’t. 

And here’s the deal. This is not an accident. This is by design. In the modern era, in America, the name of the game is profit. And there is no other game. The customer service ship sailed. Reason? Customer services means investing in customers. Making them happy in the long term. Making quality products and standing behind them. This is not what excites institutional investors. They have no interest in long term value or viability of a company. They measure their CEO’s one quarter at a time. Sales. Sales. Sales. Profit. Profit. Profit. Move product and don’t worry about backlash when your shit doesn’t work. Just don’t answer the phone. And besides, every company is doing the same so where you gonna go? Maytag? Samsung? They are all playing by the exact same set of rules because institutional investors are running the companies. CEO’s and execs are compensated on stock options and so stock price is everything. As a consumer, who you gonna call. Consumer Financial Protection Bureau? They all just got fired. BBB? Nobody cares because….once again. Where are you gonna go. 

It’s not just refrigerators. This is the commercial model for all US products and services. Short term profit is everything. There is no other plan. Companies seriously do not give a damn about their customers anymore — because there is no profit in that. And because they all are running the same scam, we have no options but to take it.

I bought a Nest thermostat for my home in Ohio so I could monitor the temperature remotely. I have an older furnace and wanted immediate notification if there was a problem. I bought local, as I am trying to boycott Amazon, so I drove the 25 miles to Best Buy. I had to go on a business trip for a week and was then at my WV home for a week. I think tried to put in the Nest and it did not appear to work with my style of furnace. So I called customer service. Navigated the annoying phone system and after 20 minutes or so got a human or a fairly respectable robot. They informed me I needed some additional wires for my style of furnace. So 10 days later that shows up. It still does not work. Meanwhile, I decided just to get a new damn furnace anyway. 

I took the Nest back to Best Buy and was told by the manager I only had 2 weeks to return it. I asked if there was a lot of customers that used Nest for 2 weeks and then returned it? What is the point of that policy? 6 months. Sure. No problem. I told him I traveled for work and had other obligations. He cared not. I asked for the store manager and he was even more dick’ish than the other guy. I was getting nowhere so called him an idiot. I was pretty proud of myself for not going straight to cocksucker or Fat Nazi Bastard (he was pretty fat).

Apparently, calling the manager an idiot is the threshold for being asked to leave at Best Buy. In case you were wondering.

I have nary a regret. The guy really did seem pretty dumb. And like I said, it’s a goddam war out there between the stupid people and the people who can connect a few dots. I’m tired of indulging idiots.

I’ve suffered my last fool.

I’m morphing into Larry David.

The irony is that while we were waiting to speak to someone at the customer service counter, I was telling mom how I loved shopping at Best Buy because they had such great customer service. 

So it goes. Have to add those assholes to my now quite long list of places to boycott. Pretty soon I will be making all my own shit since I won’t be allowed to shop anywhere. 

Oh, also I waited two weeks for 4 raised flower beds I ordered from Tractor Supply. They totally lost the order and after around 3 hours of my life on numerous calls to customer service, I finally cancelled that order and ordered new ones from Home Depot. I love that when I buy something my credit card notification SMS dings before I even sign my name. But a credit back takes 5 – 7 business days. Do electrons flow slower one way?

So, about that Russia parable…..

My internet went down last week. There is only a single provider in my area who can service my location and meet my needs. I had to re-arrange my work schedule around their repairman. I missed paying work because of their faulty service. Who am I gonna call? Sure, shit happens. But should I have to take a day and a half off of work? Should I get reimbursed for paying for a service I am not receiving? Probably. Will I? No. Read your contract. 

Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You see it. These are not coincidences. This is the new reality in America. Corporations are now firmly in control of everything and they have zero fucks to give about any of their customers. Just send in your money and STFU.

Cranky on occasion, but my life remains very blessed. Work is busier than I would like, and more complicated and stressful, but that’s the nature of my work. But I’ve got fresh bread and lasagna in the oven and the martini’s continue to flow so how can I complain?

As always, Martini Log can be found here.

Crankily Submitted,
Robert Myres, Flanker — Portneuf Valley Rugby Football Club (ret.)